SheWired Editor Tracy E. Gilchrist and Advocate Editor Ross von Metzke are back by unpopular demand terrorizing SheWired readers with a little column we like to call Gossip Girl and Her Gay, essentially an IM session between gay friends who work together that reeks of solipsism, celebrity gawking, personal attacks on each other and ridiculousness.
This week the pair take time out from more productive work, like writing about gay rights or the State of the Union Address, to weigh in on Betty White's hilarious Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech at the SAG Awards, Jennifer Love Hewitt's bedazzled vagina, Rosie O'Donnell and Howard Stern talking sex toys and Glenn Close waxing on about kissing Judy Davis while Kristen Stewart appears utterly bored with her onscreen snog with Dakota Fanning. Thanks to Boo Jarchow for adding the visuals.RvM: I put my Manx on backwards this am and they're pinching. TEG: Ha. Wasn’t one of our coworkers wearing those? I thought he'd converted to Mormonism. RvM: He just had a big lunch. TEG: Well, the way I'm feeling this week, I was thinking, for Facebook Doppelganger week, that I would change my profile pic to Doris Day, Sally Field, Joey Heatherton or Kirstie Alley's fat ass flipping the bird to the paps.RvM: Good lord, Sybil. Thats a lot. I’m gonna go with Sandy Duncan that first season of Hogan family. I’m feeling very glassy eyed, not enough sleep.
TEG: Me too! What is in the air? I picked a bad month to kick the bottle to boost my metabolism.
RvM: Yeah, girl... Well if you want. There’s a girl on my block who's clearly on meth. Maybe you and her can smuggle some good shit in to Celebrity Rehab and kick it with Mac Phillips and Mincy McCready.TEG: Oh Lord. So, It's been a busy week. We can talk about Betty White's slit, Wanda's boobs, Rosie's sex toys and Jennifer Love Hewitt's bedazzled vagina. Where do you want to begin?
RvM: Um, I’ll take bedazzled vag for $400, lez.
TEG: Well, I haven't seen the video yet but according to sexpert and SheWired contributor Diana Cage, J-Love added Swarovski crystals to her "lady parts." And Lady Parts is Hewitt's term, not mine.RvM: Thats hideous. Almost as gross as a Prince Albert. I have no interest in knowing what she did last summer. Brahahahaha.
TEG: Hahahahaha. It's called Vajazzling. No joke.
RvM: That sounded like one of those lame ass jokes the d-listers out with in the back of Life & Style. You know, Carrottop on Bjork's hideous kilt of the month.
TEG: Sorry, she called it a Precious Lady and said it shined like a disco ball. I don't want to dance to “I will Survive” under J-Loves hooha.